i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
