im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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