once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
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Woke up backwards on a recliner
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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