This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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