Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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