I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
handjob tips. give me some.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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