You're my little dorito
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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