Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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