this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
