I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
