At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
