i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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