Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
