he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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