I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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