Do vagina's smell?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving