You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
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We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.