I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS