I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
