like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
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Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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