I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
