I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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