maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
