But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
