her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
