I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
