for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
