I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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