It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
