Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
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Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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