Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
