So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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