I wanna bring you to show and tell
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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