I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
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you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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