Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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