So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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