my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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