worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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