Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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