So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
