i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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