That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm getting married
To pizza
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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