the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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