Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
