and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize