'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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