just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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