I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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