I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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