Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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