The maid of honor just puked.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Randomize
