But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
