We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
