the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
