u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
