it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
