Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
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a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
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Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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