Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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