If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize