Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
