My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
