i was born a porn star she said
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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