Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
