is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
40s are totally the cure
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
