love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
